Utusan Malaysia is the stupidest newspaper in the world - the proof

I laughed my head off. The mee rebus which I had for lunch is now threatening to make its way upward and later, outward.

Many Malaysians have given up with the mainstream media. That is because their so called responsible journalism entails nothing more than the act of extreme spinning of facts and events to suit their political masters or their own not-so-hidden agenda.

I have ceased reading the local newspapers for a long long time. I have for example, berated against the NST for their treatment of the Bersih rally some time ago.

Despite all the lies, untruth and skewed reporting that these newspapers have been carrying all these while, the Prime Minister recently saw it fit to hail Utusan Malaysia for, among others, "being the voice of the people".

Well, I now have proof that Utusan Malaysia is nothing more than a loyal servant of their political masters. I now have proof that Utusan Malaysia will not stop at almost anything in order to protect its political masters. For whatever is deemed necessary to protect its political masters, Utusan Malaysia would stoop as low as physic permits to do and execute. And that includes misrepresentations and even downright lying. It will even doctor photographs!

The thing is this. They are not even good at doing it!! To lie and misrepresent an event is something. But to do it in a really stupid way is another thing altogether. Do Utusan Malaysia think that all of us, Malaysians, are as stupid as themselves?

We are in a globalisation era. We are in the cyber era. We are not in the 60s or 70s anymore. Nowadays, stupidity is easily exposed.

What am I ranting and raving about? Well, I received an e mail from a friend of mine just now. It contained a picture of an event which took place on 9.11.2009. The same picture was published by many local newspapers while reporting the same event.

As the story goes, a man in his 70s was arrested for allegedly killing his wife. The following picture was published by Berita Harian:

This was in the Star:

And this was in Harian Metro:

Notice the blue umbrella? That umbrella has the Barisan Nasional emblem on it. Quite obviously, that umbrella was distributed by the Barisan Nasional during some kind of election as it has the "vote-BN" emblem on it.

Utusan Malaysia, thinking that the stupid masses of Malaysia might equate Barisan Nasional to a person arrested for an alleged murder because of that blue umbrella, quickly exercised its responsible journalistic discretion by DOCTORING the same photograph and published the same in its report as follows:

This is my proof that Utusan Malaysia is the stupidest newspaper in the whole world!

Of Judges, KPIs, Justice and Superficiality

"I want to ensure that justice is produced fast. Clear the backlog. If I can do this, then I would be very happy." – Tun Zaki, Chief Justice, Malaysia.

As far as mission statement goes, the above sounds good. It signals an aim, namely, justice must be produced fast. Then it spells out the mechanic by which that aim is to be achieved, namely, by clearing the backlog. Lastly but surely not the least, it states the overall impact of the mission, once achieved. The CJ will be happy.

With 900000 cases pending in the lower courts and 91000 cases in the High Courts (2008 figures), the concern about delays in the Courts is understandable. After all, justice delayed is justice denied. The CJ therefore has taken it upon himself to clear the backlog of the cases.

Throughout my years of practice, I have seen at least 7 Chief Justices (the position was called Lord Presidents before) come and go. Invariably, each new Chief Justice had the same resolution upon being elevated to his position. One even went to the Scandinavian countries to study on ways and means to reduce backlog. When we have a neighbour just about 300 kilometres away who have solved the backlog problem one wonders why we would want to travel to such far away land. But then again, we love study trips. Needless to say the backlog stayed. And in fact it got worse.

There was another one who said we would computerise the Courts. And soon we saw computer monitors, slim microphones and mini speakers springing up in Court rooms. I walked into one those days and I had to call my assistant to make sure that she had not sent me into a recording studio. Again, the backlog stayed.

Then there was the effort to increase the number of Judges. The idea was simple and basic. If there were many Judges, surely many more cases could be disposed off, no? Well, yes and no. A big NO, in fact. There were Judges those days who actually measured the margins on the court papers to ensure that it was one inch in width! Anything less would be struck out for non-compliance with the High Court Rules 1980. Then there was one who actually wanted all submissions before him be typed in fonts 13!

There was also one who scolded my opponent in front of me for referring to the Akta Syarikat as the “Companies Act.” That guy actually left practice soon after. There was another Court which had actually rejected my bundle of authorities because my separator was not white in colour. I was told that according to the rules, all papers filed must be white in colour. Now, if the separators are white, would they be called separators then? I am not kidding. These are true accounts. Needless to say, the backlog stayed. Until now.

Regardless of the ways and means employed by the Chief Justices, there are however a discernible pattern to the approach. Firstly, count the number of cases. Then blame the lawyers for delaying the cases by unnecessarily applying to postpone them. Then set a target – which was normally unachievable – of the number of cases to be disposed off within a specific period of time. Then sit down and see the paint drying. The result? Utter failure!

In almost all the various approaches, amidst all the media statements, the publicity, the study trips and what-nots, one method stood out. That is the circulation of the proverbial administrative circular. The circular would say, “no adjournment or postponement should be granted on the ground that lawyers have another case to do in another Court”.

Well, I have a problem with that. In fact many lawyers do. First of all, the granting of adjournment or postponement is a matter of judicial discretion. That means it is a power of the Judge in question which is to be exercised by him or her in his or her judicial capacity considering all the circumstances of the case. It is not for the CJ or anybody else to dictate the exercise of that judicial power. To do so would be an interference with the power of the Judge. If that is not contemptuous, I don’t know what is.

Secondly - and this is really irritating – it is not the lawyers’ fault that two or more of his cases are fixed on the same day. Do I have to explain this? Well I suppose I have to. Take me for example. I don’t just handle one case. I handle many cases at the same time. I may file an application in case A a month ago. Then I may also file an appeal to the Court of Appeal in case B 8 months ago. I also may have an appeal in the Federal Court in case C still pending. Now, let’s say I am in Court today trying to fix a trial date for case D in the High Court. The Judge says “how about 1^st March 2010?” I look at my diary and I am free on that day. So, the Judge fixes case D for trial on 1.3.2010 to 5.3.2010.

Later, my application in case A is taken out from the registry and it is fixed on 1.3.2010. To add to that, the Court of Appeal suddenly write to me to notify that my appeal in case B is now fixed on 2.3.2010. Soon, the Federal Court notifies me that case C is now fixed for hearing on 3.3.2010. Is that my fault? Have I taken cases which I am not able to do? Have I bitten more than I could chew? Am I to blame? Well, according to current jurisprudence, I am. And the Court should not grant me a postponement of any of my cases.

When I complain, the answer is almost curt and disrespectful. Not to mention dismissive. “Farm your cases to other lawyers.” Problem solved. Well excuse me. Article 5 (3) of the Federal Constitution guarantees every person (citizen or otherwise) the right to be represented by a Counsel of his or her choice. Isn’t that important? Or is it convenience over right? Then there is the fact that clients come to me because of some special knowledge that I possess in the specific area of the law which is the subject of the case. Isn’t that important too? Or how about the fact that I have taken a retainer fee for that particular case and I had done all the works required in preparation for the trial of that case. Must clients engage another lawyer and pay another fee now? Can we have a little bit of understanding here please?

The current CJ is quick to add that the grant of adjournment is a judicial discretion. In a meeting between the Bar Council representatives he stressed that point. But later, it transpired that he had actually personally called up some of the Judges who granted adjournments which he thought was unnecessary and asked them to explain their action. Which begs the question, what judicial discretion is there when Judges have to explain their exercise of that judicial discretion to the CJ personally? Isn’t that interference?

The law is every exercise of judicial discretion by the Judge is a judicial act. Judges are not required to explain to anybody, not even to the parties to the action. He or she can write a judgement. The party who is unhappy with the exercise of that judicial discretion may appeal to a higher Court. With the greatest of respect to the CJ, it does not befit anybody, including the CJ, to question a Judge on the exercise of a judicial discretion.

What would the public think? If Judges could be hauled up to face the CJ and questioned on their judicial act, what is there left for litigants? Fight their cases on the street?

And now we have KPIs for Judges. Sometime ago, Judges were made to clock in and clock out, like some “production executives” in a Seberang Perai factory. Every Judge is supposed to dispose of at least 35 cases annually. I presume “cases” here means trial cases and not merely applications in Court. Let’s do the Maths. There are 53 weeks in a year and the Judges work 5 days a week. That amounts to 265 days a year. Assuming the Judge takes 15 days of personal leave and another 15 days leave on public holidays. That would leave 235 days. That means 6.7 days per case. Let’s say he or she spends half of that, ie, 3 days to hear applications. That means an average of 3.7 days per trial.

Is that realistic? What kind of justice are we talking about? A quick one, obviously. And quite a short one too, if I may add.

It is easy to treat the Courts like some manufacturing plants. Like Proton for example. Increase production. Increase sale. Increase profits. Set targets. Meet them. And yes, we are successful. But what is justice? What is fairness? Let’s face it. Nowadays, lawyers and their clients talk about appealing against a Court order even before the case was heard. Why? Because there is absolutely no respect for the judgment of the Court. That is the hard truth. To put it bluntly.

Dr Deming in his book, “Out of the crisis” stresses that in a non-performing entity, the people are not to blame. It is the system which is at fault if the people don’t perform. He said that a manager needs to understand that the performance of anyone is governed by the system and management. He emphasises quality and not cost cutting and the likes. Among others, he lists the followings as the integral elements to transforms effectiveness;

· There must be constancy towards improvement of product and services.

· Dependency on inspection to achieve quality must cease. The work must be good and of quality the first time around.

· The system must improve constantly and forever.

· Institute leadership, not for supervision, but to help people be better in their job.

· Eliminate slogans, exhortations and targets for the work force.

· Eliminate management by objectives, numbers or numerical objectives.

· Institute programmes for education and self improvement.

· And most importantly, drive out fear, so that people may work effectively.

The above are for corporations. But how true it is for the judiciary to take note of. It would be good if we could super-impose these elements on the Judiciary and see whether what Deming is asking to be avoided is being done and what he is asking to be done is not being done.

Have we undertaken a proper and in-depth study of the whole situation? If so, what is the root cause of the problems? Hell, do we know what the problems are in the first place? Can’t the system be improved, or changed altogether? Have we looked at some international arbitration rules for example? Can we learn from those rules?

If we do not have a holistic approach, we can of course continue appointing new Judges till kingdom come. We can continue blaming the lawyers till their robes and bands rot. We can stop giving postponement. We can even impose a limit to the number of words a witness may utter.

At the end of the day, the backlog might be cleared. And everybody should be happy, right?

1 Telor!

Yes. I am talking about the Persatuan Peguam Syarie Malaysia or Malaysian Syariah Lawyers Association (PGSM).

Malaysia Today cited a report in The Star this morning saying that PGSM  has apologised to Dr Asri, the former Mufti of Perlis over the contents of the memorandum sent by the former to His Royal Highness the Yang di Pertuan Agong recently. This is also confirmed by a MalaysiaKini report.

I will not repeat what was said in the memorandum. Suffice if I were to say that the contents are vicious enough to make a multi-million dollar defamation suit by Dr Asri a very viable exercise.

The thing is this. PGSM is the self proclaimed defender of the faith. Whenever there are people or party whom they disagree with on matters pertaining to Islam, they would be the first to shout and scream. On the Kartika issue, they were so loud in condemning Sisters In Islam, Joint Action Group for Gender Equality and WAO. They had a protest against these NGOs. They also lodged a police report against the organisations.

When these NGOs called for a review of Syariah Criminal offences, they issued a memorandum (they just love memorandums, don't they?)  imploring the government to prosecute these organisations.

Why not? After all, those orgainsations are unIslamic. They on the other hand are the protectors and defenders of the faith.

Now they are apologising for telling lies about Dr Asri. If I were advising Dr Asri, I would advise him to sue their proverbial kain pelikat off!

Don't they know what the Prophet - peace be upon him - said about telling lies and liars? Well, here it is:

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The signs of a hypocrite are three: (1) whenever he speaks, he tells a lie, (2) whenever he is entrusted, he proves to be dishonest, (3) whenever he promises, he breaks his promise" (Sahih Bukhari)

"Narrated Anas: The Prophet was asked about the great sins He said, "They are:-- (1 ) To join others in worship with Allah, (2) To be undutiful to one's parents. (3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murdering). (4) And to give a false witness."  (Sahih Bukhari)

Narrated Abu Bakra: The Prophet said thrice, "Should I inform you out the greatest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" He said, "To join others in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents." The Prophet then sat up after he had been reclining (on a pillow) and said, "And I warn you against giving a false witness, and he kept on saying that warning till we thought he would not stop. (See Hadith No. 7, Vol. 8)  (Sahih Bukhari)

And about people who say things without being asked, in other word those who are Pak Sibuk, the Prophet - peace be upon him - said this:

Narrated Zahdam bin Mudrab: I heard Imran bin Husain saying, "The Prophet said, 'The best people are those living in my generation, then those coming after them, and then those coming after (the second generation)." Imran said "I do not know whether the Prophet mentioned two or three generations after your present generation. The Prophet added, 'There will be some people after you, who will be dishonest and will not be trustworthy and will give witness (evidences) without being asked to give witness, and will vow but will not fulfill their vows, and fatness will appear among them."  (Sahih Bukhari)

Nice eh? The Prophet - peace be upon him - abhors people who defame others.

So, I am now waiting to see whether PGSM would lodge a police report against itself for acting against Islamic teachings. Or perhaps they would prepare and publish a memorandum against themselves.

As for JAIS, I would like to ask:

- why do you need to bring about 50 people to arrest Dr Asri?

- was the arrest necessary? Was he running away? Can't you take a promise from a former Mufti to appear at your office the next day to be interrogated by you on whatever offence that you were investigating?

- was there a report made to you about Dr Asri's wrongdoing BEFORE you proceeded to arrest him? Please be truthful on this. God does not like people who are liars.

- was there a reliable information about Dr Asri's wrongdoing BEFORE you proceeded to arrest him. Please also be truthful on this. God hates liars.

- why weren't any of your officers at the Court the after to charge Dr Asri when he was in fact told to be present in Court the next day to answer a charge?

- what are you all going to do after this? Charge him? Or what?

- are you sure that the requirement for a "tauliah" is not repugnant to Article 10 of the Federal Constitution, which guarantees the freedom of speech and which says only the Parliament can restrict the same?

Oh, I just remember what the Prophet - peace be upon him - say about spreading knowledge. No, I am not teaching. I am just saying I remember it. Here it is:

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud: The Prophet said, "Do not wish to be like anyone except in two cases. (The first is) A person, whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it righteously; (the second is) the one whom Allah has given wisdom (the Holy Qur'an) and he acts according to it and teaches it to others." (Fateh-al-Bari page 177 Vol. 1- Sahih Bukhari)

Hmmm...did the Prophet - peace be upon him - say get a license before teaching others?

1 World, 1 Malaysia...different planet

Imagine you are an alien being from some planet far far away in the globular star clusters M80, 23,000 light years away from Earth. You have just arrived on Earth after traveling in a space craft called Pro-Ton, your premier national space craft manufacturer. You have traveled 23,000 light years to be here.

You are tired, hungry and may be sleepy. But you are excited at the same time. You have read so much about this blue planet filled with strange gasses, minerals, matters and of course, strange and wild creatures of various forms. You can't wait to meet them. Interact with them. Probably even mate with some of them.

As fate would have it, you have landed somewhere in what your inter-stellar google map calls Kuala Lumpur. While landing, you have caused a bit of a landslide along the KL-Rawang road causing the road to be closed. You have also caused cracks to reappear all over the MRR2 prompting the former Minister of Works to shout at his wife "it's an act of God!!!!" out of sheer habit, forgetting that he is no more a Minister. But you are not worried. You and your craft are invisible of course.

You have come here prepared. You have studied the Earth and its entire history from day one, right from the day the Big Bang caused some dust, gasses and various matters to form Earth to the day Alexander the Great arrived in India and wished he had never been there and to the day Hitler was locked in a dungeon by an angry Jewish midget and the key thrown away. You have seen it all.

You have seen the Mayans drawing up their calendar up to 2012 before they committed mass suicide for no apparent reason leaving later generations to think that the Earth will come to an end in 2012. You have also known about Nostradamus, a guy who loved puzzles and riddles and whose entire goal in life was to ensure that the whole Earth population would be puzzled and riddled till Armageddon. And of course, you know all about Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Abraham, Isa, Mohammad, Mandela, Idi Amin, Robert Mugabe, Mahathir Mohammad, Clinton, Obama, Osama and others (in random order, not association or affinity).

As I had said, you came prepared. Also preset in your indefinite memory bank is humongous amount of data and information about all cultures, values and religions on Earth. Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, Taoism, Shintoism and hundreds more. You know them all.

After drinking about 88 gallons of toxic waste and pig poo from some rivers around KL for breakfast, you decide to catch up with some reading before you set out to explore Earth. You plug one end of your version of a USB cable into one of your three heads and the other end into your 1 iEverythingPod. Your mind then skims through the vast data and information available about the latest and most current happenings on Earth.

You would instantly learn about the call for 1 Malaysia of course. Your two mouths actually smile. Then you would learn about UMNO delegates voting for change. You then cross-refer the word "change" to one Barrack Obama, the President of a place where Hollywood and one Scarlett Johansen are. Ahh...similar, you note. Then you learn about Zaid Ibrahim taking leave. About one Zul Noordin defending his faith while in bed. About a creature known as MACC - quickly cross-referred to McDonald - planning to prosecute 35 government officers for abusing their office erasers and paper clips. About a bomb exploding in Kabul killing many - cross referred to Holocaust, World War 2, Bosnian conflict, war crimes, exhibition at PWTC, Dr Mahathir, Idi Amin, stop - and another in Baghdad.

You shake your 3 heads in disbelief.

Then you are transported to the fact that NASA had just successfully launched and tested the Ares I-X prototype rocket, which was designed to replace the old and aging space shuttle. And you think, ahhhh..I have travelled 23000 light years and these morons are still testing space shuttle. Lame!

Later, you become aware of the fact that the African Union had just backed a plan to create a special hybrid court for trying those accused of committing atrocities in Sudan's restive Darfur province. Hmmm...Sudan....Darfur you think. Cross refer, mass killing, 300000 people (mostly Muslims) killed, 2.5 million people displaced...genocide...further cross-refer, World War 2, Holocaust, Hitler, Karadzic, Idi Amin....you get the drift.

Then you learn of the swine flu. Of the race to come out with a vaccine. Of how China and the USA manage to create one. In the nick of time. Then you discover there were more than 70 deaths in Malaysia because of this flu. The 1 iEverythingPod then cross refer to 3rd world; Philippines; Botswana; Ethiopia. Oh no, you have landed in a third world country, you think. Mission almost a failure!

You also learn that the Noble prize has been awarded to that guy whose name is Obama, from that country where the women have silicon in their body. Cross refer, Pamela Anderson. Monstrous, you say quietly.

Jenson Button wins the F1. Ooops...what is this? You explore. Auto racing. You learn. Abu Dhabi. Nice day and night race. You see at one time during the race, there was the sun and the moon at the same time! Cross refer, Sepang F1 race, race stopped before it finished as it was getting dark. Cross refer Singapore night F1 race. Party. Beyonce. Cross refer, Black Eyed Peas, no Muslims allowed, then Muslims allowed, check identity card, Beyonce cancels her concert, Pemuda PAS Selangor protests, Michael Learns To Rock, protests again, Hassan Ali, Zul Noordin, mullahs on Ecstacy.

You explore deeper. Japan leads in hybrid powered cars. New water in Singapore. Financial world revamping. Melting ice caps. Globalisation. Peace treaties. Middle east unrest. Modern day slavery in Dubai. Fulham whacks Liverpool 3-1.

You then come back to news in Malaysia, the place where you have landed. The Prison department is awaiting order to cane Kartika. Cross refer, beer, alcohol, Kartika, cane, Islam. Then you learn about the call for award to be given to those who marry single mothers. Cross refer, Islam. Later, you are fed with a scheme where RM10000 is paid to each man who would marry an orang asli woman in order to keep her as a Muslim. Cross refer, Islam.

You check your memory bank on all the information and data about that religion called Islam. Just to make sure you are reading those news accurately. Hmmm...strange, you think. Then you are transported to an offer for honeymoon for married couple having marital problems. Then to divorce-hit Terengganu wants to spice up sex life of newly-weds. Cross refer, Islam.

Finally, you learn about one Dr Asri, a former Islamic Mufti of a state in Malaysia, being arrested for lecturing about Islam without a license. Cross refer, Islam, breach of fundamental liberties, freedom of speech.

By this time you are sure all the data and information you had been implanted with about Islam is wrong and inaccurate. You profusely push the communicator button. Call your planet. "No," they say, "the information are correct." "But," you say, "I am getting quite different reports here." "Where are you?" your home ask you.

"I am in a place called Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia," you answer.

"Oh, that place", exclaims your home.

"Listen up okay, access your memory bank, and click ignore once," direct your home.